


i'll kiss you

by jenhyung



Series: heartbreak hotel [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 03:06:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15403572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenhyung/pseuds/jenhyung
Summary: So wait for me. — Renjun / Jaemin (College!AU)





	i'll kiss you

**Author's Note:**

> 1k+ of a prompt from twitter ;;;;

“Is he still out there?”

“I don’t know, but I could go check – ”

“No,” Renjun clicks his tongue. He glances over his shoulder to see Donghyuck and Minhyung staring at him, matching looks of worry or concern that Renjun’s sure aren’t for him. “He’s probably gone home by now.”

Donghyuck looks out the window, “But what if he’s still out there? It’s beginning to snow, Jun.”

That, Donghyuck is right. The weather has been pretty unpredictable lately, though there were many forecasts over tonight’s presumed snowfall, and it seems, with little flakes dotting the kitchen window, that the forecasts were all right.

“I think he’s still out there,” Minhyung says, peering out the window. “I see him on the curb.”

“Then he’s stupid to be waiting,” Renjun says, slamming the pot into its holder. From his peripheral, he sees Donghyuck reach for Minhyung, brows furrowing. “I told him to go home. He should’ve gone home.”

“He’s not like _that_ ,” Donghyuck equals in ferocity. “He isn’t going to leave just because you told him to, Jun, he cares – he actually cares, and he – ”

“If he cared, which he doesn’t,” Renjun chews on the inside of his cheek, “If he cared, he wouldn’t have – he wouldn’t have done what he did. So, no, Hyuck, he doesn’t care, and he isn’t waiting down there because – ”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Donghyuck argues. Minhyung stands by his side quietly, but Renjun knows he’s ready to jump in at any point, one foot in front of Donghyuck protectively. “We all know it wasn’t his fault, okay – it was a party and that other guy was wasted, he didn’t mean to – ”

“I swear to – Hyuck, just stay out of it, okay, you don’t – ”

“I’m just _trying_ to help, you’re not making anything better by being a – ”

“You’re not _helping_ , okay, you’re – ”

“Jun,” Minhyung interjects. Donghyuck sighs in frustration, tilting away from Renjun and leaning into Minhyung’s shoulder. “We’re just – saying that maybe you should go down just to check. Because Jaemin is still your boyfriend and he’s been out there since this morning… I don’t think he’s gone home either.”

Renjun stares at the ceiling, wishing for it to cave, “I don’t have to go. I don't have to go to him anymore. Not after that.”

“I know,” Minhyung say. “But I know you _want_ to go.” He holds onto Donghyuck as he speaks, “And you know it's not his fault. He’s probably still out there, and the last time I tried to give him a sandwich, he said he wouldn’t eat until you talked to him, so _please_ , Jun – it’s snowing, and he hasn’t eaten in hours. Go check on him.”

Renjun glares at Minhyung for being right. “Fine.”

Donghyuck reaches across Minhyung for a box of animal crackers, “Take this.” He tosses it at Renjun, who catches it, “And a blanket. He must be freezing in that lousy jacket.”

“Thanks,” Renjun says shortly, stalking out of the apartment with a throw blanket over his shoulder.

True to Donghyuck and Minhyung’s guesses, and a painful enough sight to see, Jaemin is still on the sidewalk. He hasn’t the idea to move into the building’s foyer, sitting on the curb with his knees to his chest, positively shivering. Renjun takes a long breath and closes his eyes, willing his anger away.

In three steps, he settles himself down next to Jaemin, throwing the blanket across his shoulders. His bare legs hit the cold concrete, and a shiver runs up his spine. Jaemin says nothing, but Renjun feels how tense his boyfriend his, even as Renjun shifts to press them close together, seeking warmth.

“Eat,” he instructs, shoving the box of animal crackers into Jaemin’s cold hands.

Jaemin takes the box, but he doesn’t open them, leaving them on the ground. “Renjun – ”

“Don’t,” Renjun says, moving to pull the blanket around them tighter. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Jaemin stays quiet for under a minute, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop it,” Renjun closes his eyes. “Stop saying you’re sorry… If you say you’re sorry, then it feels like you meant to do – what you did. Or at least, meant for it to happen.”

“I didn’t,” Jaemin insists, but quietly, unlike his usual boisterous self.

A self that gathers so much attention, something that Renjun would very much like to avoid. A self that is that star of every party, every event, because no one, not even Huang Renjun, can resist Na Jaemin. A self that is so bright and attractive that a boy, that is not Renjun, so inhibited with alcohol, is convinced enough to plant a kiss right on Jaemin’s lips, in front of everyone to see.

It wasn’t Jaemin’s fault – he’d pushed the poor boy off immediately, eyes landing right on Renjun, who’d been watching from the door, witnessing the scene the moment he’d passed the bouncer.

Instantly, Renjun had ran. Out and away, into the night, ignoring Donghyuck’s gasp and Minhyung’s _No, wait – I’m sure it isn’t –_

Jaemin had apologized. He had apologised over texts and calls and voicemails Renjun'd been too heartbroken to hear. He didn't want to hear anything. He can’t – get the image out of his mind, his boyfriend of just a little under a year, locking lips with someone else, even if he didn’t mean for it to happen, even if it were an accident.

Jaemin is _still_ his boyfriend, and Renjun doesn’t like sharing.

“I – ”

“Don’t wait out here anymore,” Renjun cuts him off, deflecting. “I can’t have you falling sick. You have a game next week.”

“Renjun, _please_ – this can’t – ” Jaemin searches for Renjun’s hands under the blanket, covering them with his own. “This can’t be the end for us.”

“It’s not,” Renjun says. He doesn’t shrug Jaemin off, “I just – you just have to give me some time.”

“But I didn’t – ”

“I know you didn’t.” Renjun sighs, “But it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. It happened, and I can’t stop thinking about it, so just give me some time to – think about it. Get over it.”

“It didn’t mean anything at all, Renjun, I swear – ”

Renjun opens his eyes, meeting Jaemin’s, red rimmed and glassy, “Don’t you get it, Jaemin?” He feels his heart crack into two, reliving the night, “I literally _can’t_ stop thinking about it. I can’t stop seeing it when I close my eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how – how it might happen again, and I can’t stop worrying about how it would feel when _I_ kiss you, Jaemin.”

“I want to kiss you again,” Renjun says, on a breath, whispered and shaky. “But I’m scared. All I can think about is how you kissed someone else, and I’m scared, but I want to kiss you. I want to be able to kiss you.”

Jaemin stares in earnest, not speaking. He wets his lips with a swipe of the tongue.

“So – ” Renjun tries to smile, “Just give me some time to get over it, okay? Because – I want to get over it. I know it meant nothing, and I know you did nothing wrong but you have to let me get over it. I want to get over it.”

“Okay.” Jaemin sniffs, leaning forward to press his forehead to Renjun’s. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Renjun says, feeling a weight off his heart.

“But, don’t – ” Jaemin starts, “Don’t be afraid. To kiss me. Because the only person I ever want to kiss is you, I don’t – want to kiss anyone else, so please – just – _please_ – Jun. I – can’t do it if you don’t – I won’t be able to – it’s too hard – ”

Renjun releases the blanket to hold onto Jaemin’s hands, blood surging through him, “Don’t move.”

Jaemin stills, “Okay.”

Stomping on all images of that night, Renjun kisses Jaemin, swallowing the thoughts of how Jaemin might like someone else’s lips better, of how Jaemin might taste different now, of how Jaemin might change his mind, that he might get too tired of waiting for Renjun because of all this baggage and he’ll move on and so –

He kisses Jaemin.

Because by god if Renjun never gets to kiss Na Jaemin again in his life, he’d never make it either.

“Renjun, I – ”

“I’ll get over it,” he says again. “So – wait for me, okay? I promise I’ll get over it.”

“I’ll wait for as long as you let me,” Jaemin mumbles. “I’ll wait.”

“Okay,” Renjun says. He reaches to open the box of animal crackers, “Okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i know promised i wouldn't put down my own works in the starting notes so i'll add it to the end notes ;;;;; sorry for the rubbish, renmin readers ;;;;;;
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jenhyungs) | [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/jenhyung)


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